It's Been A While...I know.

Lots of things have been happening around SIBI, AIM, and my life! SIBI and AIM are normally crazy this time of year, and I suppose that means that I am a bit crazy too. I have been doing my best to get back into the swing of things, balance my world, and in the midst of it all LEARN SOMETHING! :) I have amazing teacher, wonderful friends, and an Incredible God! So, I can't really fail...because there are so many people backing me in this life. I truly am grateful for those whom the Lord has sent my way, to bless and encourage me! He's truly amazing!

This blog is a shorty, because it's pretty last and I need to get to bed. Tomorrow is the AIMers' second Sunday out at Sudan, so I need to be somewhat "wake" for that. We're picking black eyed peas for the older ladies and then will be taken them bags full. This is one of my favorite things all year at Sudan! We need to do more stuff like that within the Church..."Caring for those who are challenged in that area...simply because we love them." That's a biblical example, as far as I can see...from reading God's inspired Word.

Love to you all!
Jessica

WHAT!??...I'm in Level 2...!???

Another year has begun...
Another class of Sunset and AIMers have arrived...
Another list of assignments for classes have been given...

...And I'm in my second year at SIBI! I'm Level 2!

This is somewhat surprising to me. Not that I didn't think I'd make it this far...(ok, I'll admit it, there were some tough days last year)...but it's just crazy to think that I'm now one of those to whom Level 1 looks at and thinks, "If she can do it, so can I." That's just weird, because I remember those to whom I looked up to in Level 2 last year...and now they're scattered all over the US. Some are even preparing to head to Mission points around the world! And that could be me someday. Maybe not in a year...but probably not too far away. Certainly closer than I think!

Last week was a bit nuts, as it was our first week of school. Everyone got here, tried to settle in, and hit the books...some of us less prepared than we thought we'd be! But we made it through, and I'm sure this week will be a much easier one. I love both new classes (SIBI and AIM), and I can't wait until I know them better! Please be praying for all of the students this year, as well as the staff and instructors at the school, and all they have to put up with--including us! :)

'Changes That Heal'

Well, I have been reading this book that was suggested to me by my counselor called, 'Changes That Heal...how to understand your past to ensure a healthier future', by Dr. Henry Cloud. In reading it today (the first opportunity in weeks)... I realized that as I read about boundaries, I actually struggle with having them! Now, I didn't realize that this was the case. I actually thought I has ok boundaries...that I knew where I was and how the world around me worked. But, oh my, that is just not the case! I have struggled for a long time with feeling like the lines in my mind were somehow blurred (especially when it came to the feelings of others), and now I think I am getting a glimpse of why that could be!

I have recently been struggling with how I take on other people's emotions, thoughts, and actions, and then make them my own. I have been tested as being extremely high in Mercy Showing...yet, I think I have often thought that I was being merciful and understanding, when in reality I was actually either stepping over their boundaries of what they needed to take care of or allowing them to step over mine!!! Crazy. And I have been doing this for how many years!? What is actually truth, and where are the lines? I feel really taken back now that I know that this happens with me...and I'm not really sure what steps to take next, except for just being aware of them. This way of thinking and being has especially effected my decisions, and every time that happens I feel lost and really out of control....probably because I am!?

So, in light of this realization...I ask for prayers. Because this is just one result of year and years of negative programing, and it's going to take a lot of hard work and prayer to relearn how I should think and act to be healthy. Thank you for praying and loving me! Thanks for reading these thoughts, and for responding at times to encourage me.