'Changes That Heal'

Well, I have been reading this book that was suggested to me by my counselor called, 'Changes That Heal...how to understand your past to ensure a healthier future', by Dr. Henry Cloud. In reading it today (the first opportunity in weeks)... I realized that as I read about boundaries, I actually struggle with having them! Now, I didn't realize that this was the case. I actually thought I has ok boundaries...that I knew where I was and how the world around me worked. But, oh my, that is just not the case! I have struggled for a long time with feeling like the lines in my mind were somehow blurred (especially when it came to the feelings of others), and now I think I am getting a glimpse of why that could be!

I have recently been struggling with how I take on other people's emotions, thoughts, and actions, and then make them my own. I have been tested as being extremely high in Mercy Showing...yet, I think I have often thought that I was being merciful and understanding, when in reality I was actually either stepping over their boundaries of what they needed to take care of or allowing them to step over mine!!! Crazy. And I have been doing this for how many years!? What is actually truth, and where are the lines? I feel really taken back now that I know that this happens with me...and I'm not really sure what steps to take next, except for just being aware of them. This way of thinking and being has especially effected my decisions, and every time that happens I feel lost and really out of control....probably because I am!?

So, in light of this realization...I ask for prayers. Because this is just one result of year and years of negative programing, and it's going to take a lot of hard work and prayer to relearn how I should think and act to be healthy. Thank you for praying and loving me! Thanks for reading these thoughts, and for responding at times to encourage me.