I wish I could explain how these last few days have been...and I guess I have been trying to, but in reality, how do you put into words the emotions you feel when so many people around you are hurting--each in their own way. It's hard for me, as a "mercy shower" to comfort them all well... but I just keep trying to do my best. Do you ever have those moments when you feel like God has prepared you for a certain moment in time? I feel like He has been preparing me for this moment...to be able to minister to my family, and those who will miss my grandma after she goes home to be with the Lord. It's certainly nothing that I have inside...but all of what He is giving me to pass along to those around me. I have a peace that can't be explained, and a stamina that is surprising even myself.
It's been hard to see Grandpa cry...because he normally doesn't. But, as the days get closer both of them have been becoming more emotional. He said he was up from 1-4 crying last night and then finally went in and got some Benadryl to help him breathe. I just keep trying to give him big, long hugs and do what I can for him when I can. I did some organizing and cleaning of the house today...because things have just been moved and shoved into corners since about Christmas because my family's focus has been so wrapped up in caring for Grandma and Grandpa. It looks and feels better now, which makes me happy.
The hospice people brought her oxygen machine today (along with some extra, portable tanks), and a new porta-potty (a better, higher one). We also have been concerned about the bed they brought here for her being "broken". The guy checked it when he came today, and sure enough... it doesn't have some kind of bar in the middle, so she sinks. It's a bit annoying (to be perfectly honest...maddening) that they would even give a bed out that's like that!!! So, we have to wait until Monday to get it changed, and she's had that bed for about 2 weeks already. I think the reason why we didn't say anything is because-- 1) We were focused on too many other things, and 2) We didn't really know any different. Anyway, that's the deal.
Today's a bright sunny day...so that's lovely!!! :) Keep those prayers goin'! Thank you!
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Hey Sweetie! I have taken some time to catch up with your news since you've been home. I wanted to post a comment especially on this post, because you mention specifically that you feel like God has prepared you for this service you are giving your family. I'm so glad you feel that because I know it's true. I know of no better servant than you - and I can only imagine the comfort you are bringing to your family by the strength and assurance that you providing for them. I love you. And I thank God for you!
Barb
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