What does love have to do with it???

EVERYTHING!!!

This is what I have concluded in my personal time.

Love has everything to do with everything!

Especially when you are trying to work things out with someone who is (really and truly) different from you in so many ways!

Let me explain myself somewhat:

I have been working on my ability to love. Not just love people from how I would like to be loved, but from their point of view too. This has actually manifested itself strongly in my relationship with Alex, my dearest...whom I'm engagaed to! As much as I love him, and how I want to work things out with him, I simply don't understand the man some days! I really (for the most part) see things from my viewpoint, and then work from there... and it is really, really difficult to separate myself from myself (if that makes sense). But, in order to truly love him, and honor him, and respect his place in my life...I have GOT to change how I view some things! I have to work on how I relate, how I communicate, and ultimately how I love.

This reminds me of Paul...the Apostle of Christ. He had to change his viewpoints, several times, in order to become the man that he knew God wanted (and needed) him to be! Not only initially...when Christ came to him on the road to Damascus. He also needed to daily renew his mindset on things that would benefit his own way of "doing" and "being". If he had just let himself be Paul, the human, he wouldn't have gotten very far...(I know this, because I know me). I'm realizing just how tough it is to DIE to yourself, and what it means to actually rely on God's strength. Not that I know what that perfectly looks like...oh my, goodness no! But, I have been smacked upside my spiritual head with this concept a lot recently...which is...

What it truly means to LOVE!!!

(P.s. I will accept comments or encouragement at any time, regarding this subject....)

Oh my...Realizations.

I guess I never really realized how much being in a "relationship" changes you. Not that I was unaware of oblivious to the fact that people DO change when they are around someone constantly. We do change...whether it's for the better or for worse, we're always going a direction. But, I have come to see that it takes a lot of work. Not just to grow and change yourself...but to grow in the midst of another person's environment. And to help them grow as well...because you are not an island unto yourself. This may sound silly...but in order to truly LOVE that other person, you have GOT to do some changing! It's crazy how you grow and change and adapt when you are working to live with this person for the rest of your life!

I have said and done some pretty hurtful things, and some good things (of course)...but I wish I could take back the hurtful things. It's always so surprising to me the capability we humans have to either produce growth in someone, or take it away. Yes, we may give another person the "right" to ultimately affect us (for life, or not). But, we do hurt each other! I hate this aspect of the "fall". I know that I break God's heart too when I hurt someone or degrade them in some way...because that other person is part of Him, and a very beautiful creation!

I want to do better! I'm seeking to do better. I'm trying to grow myself and and push myself to be more like Jesus. I don't want to do things without knowledge...and I think sometimes I do things without "knowing" I have done them. Like, I will react a certain way because of something that happened SO MANY years ago...and yet it causes a reaction in me that is so strong! Almost like I have been "re-hurt"...and I act from that hurt. I just keep praying and asking God to heal and grow me from the place I am...to bring all the fractions of my personality under His reign.

Whoever reads this...thanks for taking the time to read, you didn't have to! :) It's nice to just be able to type and feel like it's going out into the "wild blue yonder."